Just a bunch of Idiots

As we hope everyone had a wonderful Easter, we would like to kick this new week off with another edition of Law & Dis-order

Case #1 – Big Bow, Big Arrow –Maybe he’s overcompensating for something!!!!!!

Today we start off in Burnsville Minnesota where a 30-year old man had met a woman he wanted to impress. So after dinner he invited her back to his place, where the two of them commenced to drinking all night long.

The police report states that around 2pm the next day after drinking all night, the man decided he wanted to impress his new lady friend, so he grabbed up his bow and arrow and said it was time to play Rambo.

When police arrived they found arrows in the siding of neighboring townhomes, and one that had gone through a window shattering the glass.

The man was charged Wednesday with first-degree criminal damage to property.

Law and Disorder rule # 27 If cupid isn’t shooting the arrow, chances are it isn’t true love.

Case #2 – Did you cut the cheese or him?

Next we head to Waco Texas, where two men were sharing a hotel room. Man #1 had an upset stomach and kept cutting the cheese. Man #2 did not like it, so instead of cracking a window or opening up a door to let the room air out; he did the next most logical thing. He stabbed man #1 in the arm and in the chest.

Man #2 has been identified as 33 year old Jose Braule Ramirez. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Law and Dis-order rule #28 Don’t cut the cheese in Texas or else you might just end up getting cut.

Case #3 Dumb Weasel!!!!

Next we head to Augusta Georgia, where it gets a little personal. You see just last week, they held the Masters. Now anyone who is an avid golf fan will tell you that golf fans are fans unlike any other. Golf fans are known as “patrons” as they have more class than any other sport.

Think about it, when was the last time you have seen someone streaking running down the 18th green?

Well none the less, I told all my friends I would put my money on good ole’ lefty, Mr. Phil Mickelson himself. Things were looking bright for my wallet until Sunday on the 17th hole.

This is when the world met Steven T. Davis from Salt Lake City, who for unknown reasons decided to toss his body over a barricade and land a few feet away from Tiger Woods and, my bet for the tournament, lefty himself.

In any other sport the guy would rip of his clothes and run, or even tackle someone. So what did this idiot decide to do? Stand there! That’s right this prick interrupts one of the most important tournaments in golf and the weasel just stands there.

Then he reaches down and picks up his sunglasses and wallet, says he is sorry and walks off into the arms of security that is patiently waiting for him.

Maybe it was from all the $2 beers, or maybe his plan just wasn’t that well thought out.

Newspaper reporters from “The Chronicle” reported hearing Davis say the following quotes as he was being hauled off, “"I apologize, I'm stupid. I hope Phil wins. That was dumb. Why did I do that?"

Phil missed a five-foot birdie putt immediately after the stunt.

Law and Dis-order would just like to say Mr. Davis you owe us $100 for throwing the game, you dumb weasel.

-Until next time take care and may God Bless -BC

Grab and Run, Give me your Cash, and Falling Asleep

Today is Thursday April 2, 2009 which means it is time once again for another addition of law and dis-order.

Case #1

Today we start off in Trenton New Jersey where police say a 19-year old tried to outwit a 76-year old man. The 19-year old walked into the liquor store and grabbed a bottle and headed for the door at full speed. The 76-year old hit a trigger lock that was hidden behind the counter locking the 19-year old inside the store, as well as notifying the cops.

The 19-year old pulled out a handgun, and the 76-year old laughed as he could tell it wasn’t real.
When the cops showed up, they found the toy gun in the garbage can and the 19-year old sitting in the floor crying his eyes out. The 19-year old was taken to jail and charged with robbery.

Law and Disorder rule #23 Never show weakness, Bubba and Bubbles may have word on the outside if you show weakness or not. Bubba and Bubbles love weakness.

Case #2

Next we travel to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania where John Comparetto claims he has met the dumbest criminal in history.

John Comparetto who is a retired police chief, was attending a police officer’s convention where there were over 300 officers in attendance. John had gone to the restroom and when he was exiting a stall he was met by a gunman who was demanding money. John stalled the gunman for a matter of about 30 seconds until another police officer walked into the restroom and apprehended the suspect.

Law and Disorder rule # 24 Always, Always Case the joint before your robbery also see Law and Disorder Rule # 20

Case #3

Last but not least we travel to Orem, Utah where Police got word of a man who was drinking and driving. Police said the man was easy to find. As the officers were looking for a car that fit the description, another call came through from 9-1-1 claiming a man had passed out in the drive thru at McDonalds. As it turns out, the suspect was waiting for them in his car.

Police said the man passed out because of a combination of alcohol and prescription drugs. He was charged with driving under the influence.