Monday, April 13, 2009

Just a bunch of Idiots



As we hope everyone had a wonderful Easter, we would like to kick this new week off with another edition of Law & Dis-order


Case #1 – Big Bow, Big Arrow –Maybe he’s overcompensating for something!!!!!!


Today we start off in Burnsville Minnesota where a 30-year old man had met a woman he wanted to impress. So after dinner he invited her back to his place, where the two of them commenced to drinking all night long.


The police report states that around 2pm the next day after drinking all night, the man decided he wanted to impress his new lady friend, so he grabbed up his bow and arrow and said it was time to play Rambo.


When police arrived they found arrows in the siding of neighboring townhomes, and one that had gone through a window shattering the glass.

The man was charged Wednesday with first-degree criminal damage to property.
Law and Disorder rule # 27 If cupid isn’t shooting the arrow, chances are it isn’t true love.


Case #2 – Did you cut the cheese or him?


Next we head to Waco Texas, where two men were sharing a hotel room. Man #1 had an upset stomach and kept cutting the cheese. Man #2 did not like it, so instead of cracking a window or opening up a door to let the room air out; he did the next most logical thing. He stabbed man #1 in the arm and in the chest.


Man #2 has been identified as 33 year old Jose Braule Ramirez. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.


Law and Dis-order rule #28 Don’t cut the cheese in Texas or else you might just end up getting cut.


Case #3 Dumb Weasel!!!!


Next we head to Augusta Georgia, where it gets a little personal. You see just last week, they held the Masters. Now anyone who is an avid golf fan will tell you that golf fans are fans unlike any other. Golf fans are known as “patrons” as they have more class than any other sport.


Think about it, when was the last time you have seen someone streaking running down the 18th green?


Well none the less, I told all my friends I would put my money on good ole’ lefty, Mr. Phil Mickelson himself. Things were looking bright for my wallet until Sunday on the 17th hole.

This is when the world met Steven T. Davis from Salt Lake City, who for unknown reasons decided to toss his body over a barricade and land a few feet away from Tiger Woods and, my bet for the tournament, lefty himself.

In any other sport the guy would rip of his clothes and run, or even tackle someone. So what did this idiot decide to do? Stand there! That’s right this prick interrupts one of the most important tournaments in golf and the weasel just stands there.

Then he reaches down and picks up his sunglasses and wallet, says he is sorry and walks off into the arms of security that is patiently waiting for him.

Maybe it was from all the $2 beers, or maybe his plan just wasn’t that well thought out.

Newspaper reporters from “The Chronicle” reported hearing Davis say the following quotes as he was being hauled off, “"I apologize, I'm stupid. I hope Phil wins. That was dumb. Why did I do that?"

Phil missed a five-foot birdie putt immediately after the stunt.

Law and Dis-order would just like to say Mr. Davis you owe us $100 for throwing the game, you dumb weasel.

-Until next time take care and may God Bless -BC

3 comments:

  1. HAHA. Wow, I can't believe that guy just wanted to play Rambo.

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  2. I have smelled some pretty nasty farts in my time, but usually you give praise to the provider not a knife to the chest!!!

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  3. I believe that, i want my 100 dollars too.

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